Mayport Minorcans
By:
Ruth Drew Capo

When a Mayport Minorcan gets depressed, there's lot's of things to try,
Like pills and tonics, poultices and plasters – lots of things to buy,
Laying down or sitting up, cold cloth upon your head,
You work and fret with all this stuff until you're nearly dead.

Blackberry wine, sassafras tea or vitamins by the gross,
Try it all, increase it or cut down on the dose.
You can get a medical prescriptions or take a little shot,
Either with a needle or from a vial of old rot gut.

But there's a cure for Mayport Minorcan known to no other man,
But you have to follow directions and go directly by the plan.
You have to go to Mayport when the wind has swung nor’ east,
Don't let the cool wet drizzle upset you in the least.

For to tell you what you have to do is really only fair,
You have to let the cool wet drizzle settle in your hair.
You have to wear some real old clothes like worn out dungarees,
A ragged shirt with shirt tail that will flap out in the breeze.

You can't wear shoes upon your feet, that's a fact and goodness knows,
You have to let the river mud squish up between your toes.
You go down to the little rocks, you'll see the gathered crowd,
Every ones excited for the mullet's comin’ down.
And that's the very reason the folks have gathered ‘round,
The mullet boats have just pushed out, they're gonna make a run.
And everyone's a praying that they'll haul in most a ton.

You have to smile at all the ladies and shake hands with all the guys,
Take at least an hour to shoot the bull and tell some whopping lies.
You stay about an hour and when the men have rowed ashore,
You will pick you out some mullet, some good ones - three or four.

You take them home and clean them, knock off all the scales,
You give the cats the insides and all the heads and tails.
You simmer down a port of grits and add some rattrap cheese,
And fry the fish up golden brown with hush puppies if you please.

You pull your chair up to the table and eat as much as you would dare,
And if this doesn't cure you Brother, all you need is prayer.


Contributed by Smokey Drew